Acknowledging what it means to have my home-born citizenship be in the United States has been a doozy of a journey for me, and one that I am, no doubt, still in.
When I was in the 10th grade I traveled outside of the country for the first time and saw how my citizenship to the United States, skin color, and gender were the cause for many catcalls and superior treatment. It was also the reason for much avoidance and why people felt it was okay to take our spot in grocery store lines. I had never experienced this different treatment before, because I grew up in a town where I was a majority and privilege was a norm. My time in Peru opened my eyes to different ways of living and also the effects of being gringa.
As I began to expand my understanding of other cultures and countries, I also began to loathe my citizenship and living status in the United States. I planned to leave the States as soon as possible. This "soon as possible" was pushed further and further back when I felt led to go to undergrad in the United States. When I went to college, I had to create a short list of "reasons why I'm grateful to be in the US" to remind myself that there are good things here.
While I am not nearly as anti-American as I used to be, I still struggle with the fact that I can not change my history. No matter where I live, the fact that I was born and raised in the United States will not change. My birthplace and citizenship will remain, along with the privilege this carries. This is sometimes a hard reality for me to swallow.
This last week, though, I have been finding comfort and encouragement from the Apostle Paul and his adventures told in the book of Acts. Paul has a pretty crazy story which only gets crazier once he starts to follow God. Towards the end of his life he is getting flogged, persecuted, and receiving death threats left and right because the gospel that he is preaching is not what the people around believe or want to hear. Paul knows what he's about, though, and isn't going to shift his convictions. He also knows where he is from and the implications that has in their society. He, like many of the people persecuting him, is a Roman. But as I read different sections (such as Acts 16:37-40 or Acts 21:37-22:6) I noticed that the nay-sayers must not have realized Paul's ethnicity or citizenship. Then, BAM, Paul pulls out his citizenship card (figuratively) and all the privilege that comes with his Roman citizenship is granted him, even in the midst of persecution. The privilege that he carried as a Roman citizenship was the platform on which he was able to preach the Gospel again and again, also sparing more days for him to live (see Acts 22:26-29!)
It is encouraging to me that
1. Paul did not live out of his privilege all the time. Or even most of the time. In fact, he seemed to be living in such a way that people did not know he had the privilege he did.
2. Paul knew when to use the privilege he had as a platform to preach the Gospel.
At this point in my journey, my prayer and hope is that I may be able to acknowledge and learn about the privilege that comes with my citizenship (as well as other factors such as ethnicity, gender, education, and so on). I also trust that the God who has created me and placed me where I am, may use any privilege society gives me to create space to share His love and truth.
In peace (and [still] in the United States),
Christina
